Have you held a baby? Do you remember that feeling of wonder and amazement at the miracle of new life? And did you think of all the possibilities that baby could do when they grew up? I have with every baby I’ve ever held. Never once did the thought cross my mind that one day this baby would be a serial killer, rapist, or thief. I might have had concerns for their environment, such as whether they are safe, well cared for, and loved. But I could never imagine that baby not being or doing what it was destined to do with its life here on earth.
Now, take that thought to its next logical step. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was once a baby just as innocent as any other baby in this world, and so was Adolf Hitler. So the question is this: What happened to those babies to cause them to commit such atrocities? Something must have happened to them because I can not believe any baby is born a killer, sociopath, or rapist.
When I realized that those in my life who did the most unthinkable things to me were once innocent babies and children themselves, I realized they, too, were once most likely victims of their own horrors that made them choose to harm and hurt me the way that they did.
That doesn’t make what happened to me or to you okay, not at all. But it does help me accept the people who hurt me and their place in humanity. They, too, were once innocent and full of wonderful possibilities at the beginning of their lives, until they chose to believe something else about themselves or the world around them, which led to their actions.
That is when I was able to begin to let go not only of my hurt and trauma but yours and the world at large. Bad things have happened to good adults, youth, children, and infants forever and ever. Or at least for as long as we’ve had self-awareness and, therefore, free will. It didn’t start with you or me. It doesn’t explain the why, either. It only shows the pattern and enables us to choose how we want to live our lives. If free will can cause people to do evil, then free will must allow us to do good and even recreate ourselves. Free will has to work both ways, right?
Free will says you can believe, think, and feel what you choose, not only about others but also about yourself. What would you like to think and believe about yourself? Start with innocence, new life, and new beginnings, and go from there.
And as for forgiveness, all that baby stuff sometimes doesn’t always cut it. Sometimes, I have to be angry for just a minute. Sometimes, I have to let those feelings and emotions be real. And then I can choose to let them go again and again. Sometimes, I have to choose to want to forgive or not be angry.
But when I remember we were all once born innocent, full of life and possibilities for good in this world, I can see others the way I would hope to be seen. And I am learning to see myself with those eyes, too. Anything is possible!